In the old days there were sixteen bodhisattvas. When it was time to bathe, they got into the bath together. Suddenly they realized the cause of water and said,“This subtle touch releases the brightness. We have become the sons and daughters of the Buddha.”

—Blue Cliff Record Case 78

The coin lost in the river is found in the river. —Yunmen

The storehouse of treasures opens by itself. You may take them and use them any way you wish.

—PZI Miscellaneous Collection Case 68

Last week I was on retreat with PZI, an online affair where once again I noticed that as we step into the bath, into the vast ever-changing shape of reality, we are intimately connected—a seamless interweaving of heart and mind with the here and now. As I come back to you, it is with deep gratitude for this practice and my companions on this path.

The retreat koans are listed above.

In retreat, we witnessed a dialogue between koans. Inside this ongoing conversation you could sense that the Tao, the Universe herself, is deeply committed to our awakening. To get into the bath together is to find ourselves within the vast dance of life, a part of rather than apart from what we meet.

On the second day, Tess Beasley Roshi brought us Yunmen’s koan about the coin lost in the river. This became my koan for the retreat. On Thursday, we’ll follow the arc of practice as reflected in this lost coin.

Lost 1.0: We begin by thinking that something is missing and that we can make a plan, scheming for a better life. This is being lost and separate from the world. Here we look for solutions to problems we believe are outside ourselves—if we could only [x], then we’d find happiness. With the help of a koan, we discover another way of being lost.

Lost 2.0: The koan leads me to discover that the old ways—the habitual ways I separate myself from reality, the plans and schemes I harbor for a better life, my negotiations with life—do not work. There is no handle with which I can control life into the next moment. As that which I put between life and self falls away, there is no me and no world that exist apart from each other.

Found: Life is close. I am found. The river, the coin—it is all here. So, where to look? In the river: in the life experience of the moment. Here. Now. Listen! The crow caws, the dog barks, the autumn leaves rustle in the wind, the rooster crows at dawn. Coin. Coin. Coin. And your thoughts and feelings, those too—coin, coin, coin.

Yunyan, another teacher, put it so: “Just this is it.”

See you all on Thursday.

—David Parks